YAY! We finally get to bust out of quarantine. My updated video is below. Being positive is a mind set. It takes practice. Just like we train our muscles, we have to train our minds to get stronger as well. Muscle memory is great with our physical muscles. When we do not perform a specific movement for awhile and then we do it some time later, our muscles should respond because they are familiar with the movement. I personally need to work on muscle memory in my mind. I have to train my mind often to believe and think the way I want to think. Positivity does not always come natural for me. I saw a shirt with a super hero on it awhile ago with a huge "A" and under it was as super hero for anxiety, "Being able to go to the worst possible scenario in seconds" haha I joked and said I needed that shirt. Some people are blessed to have a natural positive attitude and forge ahead, the rest of us have to REALLY work at it. When I do not practice it my mind gets lazy. That is when weakness and negativity have a chance to seep in, and believe me they do."The Secret" is a book that my husband believes helped changed his mindset and outlook on life. I highly recommend it. It is a short and very effective read and I will link it below.
I finally get out of quarantine tomorrow from being in my room since October 29th. It is now almost a week before Thanksgiving and THANKFUL I am! The reason I was in my room so long was because both of my sons tested positive in a domino effect of every 4 days which kept extending my quarantine to care for them separate from the others in my room. I was told I am getting out just in time for our governor contemplating about shutting Chicago down for 30 days. How do I feel about that?
I understand the numbers are rising rapidly. I understand the number of cases in most county's in Illinois,
- Cook county 256k
- DuPage County 35,878
- Lake County 31,079
- Kane countyy 26,105
- Will County 30,384
- McHenry County 11,494
Me, my 2 sons, my dad and several of my friends are now part of these stats. Even with taking the proper precautions and diligent rule following, we ended up with positive COVID-19 tests that thankfully none of us seemed extremely effected by the symptoms. We all skated out of it pretty smoothly. By the grace of God my mom, husband and daughter have not tested positive yet, and it is definitely is fearful to think they still can get this. BUT, is going into hiding and closing down the state the answer??? No Santa at Macys for the first time in 159 years, no Macy's Thanksgiving parade, most businesses rely on their busiest time of year being right before the holidays. Even if Santa were to visit at Macy's, it can't happen this year without great discomfort, worry and possible spread of the virus, so I guess it it better. I don't know. I am stuck in this mentally argumentative mind frame with myself.
Those of us that are now "vampires" as I call it, some doctors have told us that we are immune with having antibodies for at least 3 months will protect us from being infected again while other doctors say that is not set in stone. The kicker is, you can test positive up to 90 days after you have first tested positive. So, what if we do not feel well again, could it be the common cold? The flu? Allergies? Sinus? or are we in fact re-infected but we would not know it because our tests would show positive anyway? Any one with these illnesses could be symptoms related to COVID.
According to the CDC, "On August 3, 2020 CDC updated its isolation guidance based on the latest science about COVID-19 showing that people can continue to test positive for up to 3 months after diagnosis and not be infectious to others. Contrary to media reporting today, this science does not imply a person is immune to reinfection with SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes COVID-19. In the 3 months following initial infection is not necessary unless that person is exhibiting the symptoms of COVID-19 and the symptoms cannot be associated with another illness."
All I know is, I can not live in fear anymore. Do I want to go through this again? Absolutely not, but what do we do? Go into hiding until there's a vaccination that I am not even so sure I would take or expose my family too? They say it is on the rise. I want so desperately for my initial reaction to be a taste of relief and the feeling of it being the key to finally getting back to some normalcy, but I am not sure relief is what I feel.
"We are committed to expediting the development of COVID-19 vaccines, but not at the expense of sound science and decision making. We will not jeopardize the public's trust in our science-based, independent review of these or any vaccines, There is too much at stake." Stephen M.Hahn, M.D., FDA Commissioner, and Peter Marks, M.D., ph.D., Director, Center for Biologics Evaluation and Research.
"Vaccine Status: Currently, there is no FDA-approved or authorized vaccine for the prevention of Covid-19."
Is is safe to get our hopes up? I mean, I am STILL reluctant in getting a flu shot that has been around for many many years. "Scientists had a working flu vaccine by the 1940's, after the influenza virus was first discovered in the early 1930's." Even if we wanted to get it, "When FDA authorizes or approves the use of one or more COVID-19 vaccines in the United States, there may be a limited supply. This would mean that not everyone will be able to be vaccinated right away. It is understandable how concerning this would be for people, especially for those who are increased risk for serious illness from the virus and for their loved ones."
Where is the trust, the comfort and the answers we so desperately seek? Maybe knowing this will all eventually be behind us one day (praying sooner than later) we can look back and be proud how we as the world made it through it. Just think of the stories our children will tell their kids and how we are all are making history right now, might just be the comfort we need. This will definitely be a memory of a life time. Some of us will remember more family bonding, a less chaotic schedule, more simplicity while others will carry away a more heavy feeling. People have lost loved ones and are emotionally injured, some will be physically scarred, and most of us will be and are mentally drained and keep having to kick our legs to stay afloat at times.
I would like to believe that those of us that have had it will have SOME immunity to it. I am a pretty positive person, but I am not going to lie and say this isn't effecting my soul. Food for my soul is my family and I will go to the greatest ends of the earth to keep them safe!!! But now my doctor tell us to be extra careful around my daughter and husband. What does that mean? My doctor suggested wearing a mask around them for awhile and keep my distance. So I still can not hug and kiss her, read stories close to her, help her with school and sit close next to her, my boys can't play with her, my boys can't hug my husband? Where does it end? I shake my head. They tell us to keep a distance from close family and dear friends whom we miss so dearly and are looked upon as failures in society's eyes if we don't.The first thought we think when we see a group gathering is not, WOW, how wonderful they are all together! It is "Where are their masks? Why are they so close together? Why are they even together? This is why our numbers keep rising!" I wish we had the answers.
There are many blessing that have come through shining in all this. However, this is me being human and showing my vulnerable side, my side that forgot to practice all my mental strength this morning, so I'm letting some of my worry out in these words. I am a fighter in every sense of the word and as I have the Netflix series Cobra Kai on repeat in my room, "Defeat does not exist in this dojo!" haha. Words are the therapy to my soul they drive deep within. I can not wait to get back to my sparring partners and unleash some of this mental energy ha!
This is me saying hang in there! I have had to search for my own game face and put it on each morning especially these last few days still in quarantine in my room. I talk to God and dig deep and chose faith over fear every time. It is cold, rainy, windy and "COVIDY" out there. But I am trying to keep it strong and determined in here. I will not lose my ambition, I will just redirect it to more inner success that I am being challenged with these last few days.
"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it'll beat you to your knees if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life, But it ain't how hard you can hit, It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward..How much you can take and keep moving forward..That's how winning is done.." Rocky Balboa
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Always Thankful, Katie